Bulimia and Myself
I am a regular girl, maybe just a little taller. 🙂 I come from a great family with loving parents and an amazing brother. I used to have good grades at school and I managed to find a decent job right after I finished university. Although my life was absolutely normal with no big dramatic events, I fell into the trap of bulimia and it took more than 5 years of my life.
I don’t exactly remember how all started, however I remember the feeling. The feeling that I am not enough. The feeling that I will be happy only after I get rid of the few extra pounds. I was stuck in an endless cycle of strict diets, bingeing and purging. I was so obsessed with my body image that I totally forgot how to enjoy life. Bulimia affected the relationship with my friends and family, my self-esteem, and most of all – my health. Back then I didn’t realize the seriousness of the problem and I had no motivation to heal. Plus, an eating disorder was the perfect excuse to not achieve any of my life goals.
But one day I thought I would die. I was laying on the floor after another binge eating episode and I was barely breathing. I thought my stomach had burst. Hot and cold waves swept over me, and I felt I had gone too far this time. I was scared, but I didn’t dare to call an ambulance. I was ashamed. I was not able to tell anybody about my eating disorder. I already had several health problems due to bulimia, but at that moment, I realized how much I had messed up. And there on the floor, scared to death, I promised to myself that if I survive, I would do my best to heal.
So I started searching ways to deal with the problem. I read a lot of books, tried different strategies. It was difficult, because the binge eating episodes did not vanish, but I did not give up. And after about a year of fight, I succeeded. Things didn’t happen overnight, I didn’t just wake up as a new person. It took me months to fight, to stand up to myself and my fears, but it was worth it. I am healthy and alive now. I eat well, my weight normalized, I work out for pleasure, but more importantly I enjoy my life. Because life is wonderful.
I believe that no one is safe and an eating disorder can happen to anyone. But I also believe that everyone is able to heal and live the life of their dreams. I created this blog to share my experience and my recovery path. Here you can find everything I learned and everything I failed to learn. And if I could help just 1 person, then it was worth it.